Having a baby at anytime is hard
, whether your baby was planned or not the arrival of a baby is hard for anyone, now imagine having a baby in the middle of a global pandemic and the country being in lockdown because this is exactly what happened to me.
Labour, well... this will be something I will never ever ever forget. I always thought I’d go in to labour by randomly standing or sitting and having a big gush of water come out, think I had watched too many films! Well this didn’t happen although I did go in to labour naturally. I was 6 days over due. I was the size of a house and the most uncomfortable I had ever been, I just wanted this baby out so desperately. I woke up on the Monday morning and noticed a drop in my bump, it was low, like really low. I had braxton hicks all day and I was sick. By the evening time they were no longer braxton hicks but contractions, mild contractions. I remember thinking to myself “these are contractions pffft what does everyone moan about these aren’t that bad” oh how I was so wrong. As the night progressed so did those contractions, so so painful, Lewis drove me to the hospital but wasn’t aloud to come in with me so going alone was definitely difficult for us both. I was checked over but only 1-2cm dilated so I was sent straight back home. The next morning I saw the midwife and she checked my cervix, I was now 3-4cm dilated. By 5pm the pain was unbearable and coming fast, back down to the hospital I went and to my horror I was still only 3-4cm. Oh how I cried having been sent home AGAIN. It was only three hours later and I had to go back, the pain was indescribable. Lewis waited in the car and I was checked over again. YES! Finally I had made it to 5cm, this meant I could go to the delivery ward and finally be with Lewis. I rang him crying to tell him the news. He collected the bags and off we went.
At this point I was in horrendous amounts of pain but I couldn’t hide my excitement, we were going to meet our baby girl soon! The midwife explained to Lewis that now he had entered the room he could not leave at any point and if he was too leave he would not be able to return. Other than that and the fact all staff were wearing masks it was pretty normal.
I tried the gas and air and I’m not sure what the big deal is with it, I absolutely hated it! Made me feel sick and dizzy and just wasn’t for me. I’ve watched many one born every minute episodes and had high expectations when it came to the gas and air, it seemed to help those women out but me nope! So instead I was offered other pain relief which I turned down. Know for all you women that have had babies you must be thinking I’m crazy giving birth with no pain relief but hear me out. My hospital was shut and I wasn’t aloud the water birth so the no pain relief was the only thing I had left on my birth plan that I could control so I gave it my best go but my goodness the pain......
Hours went by and I was struggling, I hadn’t slept since Sunday night and at this point it was Early hours of Wednesday morning, the pain was keeping me awake. I had drank a lot of water because those contractions are hard work and I was super thirsty. The bad thing was I couldn’t wee, I had tried to and because of the pain I just couldn’t wee so unfortunately for me the midwife had to force it out, she placed a straw in my urethra and it just happened, I was just lying on the bed urinating through a straw in to a bed pan, madness.
The midwife checked me and I was 8cm so she offered me pain relief, I was reluctant but Lewis convinced me to have some for my own sanity. So I managed to 8cm with no pain relief and that is an achievement to me! The nurse came in jabbed me in my leg with some pethadine and anti sickness and that was that. Did it take the pain away? definitely not, did it ease it? Slightly, I felt like it just made me even more tired than I already was which just wasn’t what I needed.
About 1-2 hours after having the pethadine the midwife turned me on to my left side and I noticed there was quite a few people in the room, doctors and more midwifes. I was pretty out of it but Lewis told me afterwards that mine and babies heart rate wasn’t doing so well and they nearly took me in for an emergency c-Section but luckily that didn’t happen. Not long after my body started to push, it was the most bizarre feeling I had ever felt. I had no control over it what so ever, my body was just trying to push the baby out. I begged the midwife to let me lay on my back as I was so uncomfortable on my left and it didn’t feel right pushing in that position, she reluctantly agreed.
Then the pushing began, wow that was hard work, every time I had a contraction I had to pull my legs to my chest and push in to my bottom and not just for a quick few seconds but for as long as possible, I swear at one point it was close to a minute! I couldn’t physically hold my legs up as I had zero energy so Lewis took over for me and encouraged me to keep going! I remember the midwife keep asking me if I could feel the ring of fire and I was like “no I don’t feel it”. She could see some of the baby’s head but said it could take a while for her to come out, she was wrong. The next contraction I pushed like my life depended on it, I gave it everything I had used up what little energy I had remaining. It worked however, instead of pushing her head out, then shoulders and doing the soft blows that you’re meant to do I pushed her out all in one go. Yes that’s right I pushed my baby out in one, she literally flew out and the midwife had to catch her, she was not expecting her to be born yet. Unfortunately due to my actions I ended up with a third degree tear (ouch). I sat up and looked down to see my baby born, she had two lots of cord wrapped around her neck and I felt sick to my stomach, sheer panic hit me and I said “is she ok?”. They whipped the cord off super quick and within a second I heard that cry. That magic sounding cry. That cry is what you wait for, all that pregnancy and labour led up to the very moment you hear your baby cry for the first time. That relief was unreal they placed her on my chest and I felt whole. I did it, I was finally a mom. That’s all I have ever wanted, she’s been in my life for three whole months now and I still pinch myself that she’s mine. It’s definitely true what they say as soon as you see your baby for the first time that pain just disappears in an instance.
Tears were streaming and I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, I looked over at Lewis and he was sobbing and smiling and I’ve never seen him look more content. This was it, our own little family.
A lot of it after that was a bit of a blur, I was jabbed in my leg with no warning and next thing I knew I was being told to push again and poof, out came the placenta. I’ve got to say though once that placenta was out I felt so much more comfortable! I had about three different people looking at my lady parts and fiddling around, to then be told I had a third degree tear and I’d need to have a spinal block and surgery. Are you serious? A spinal block? So after I went through most of my labour with no pain relief I had to have a spinal block anyway, as you can imagine I was not impressed. The only good thing about this was I managed to nap on the theatre table 🙈.
So before heading to surgery I had a go at breast feeding and then they weighed her. To all of our surprise she was only 6lb10oz. Now if you had seen the size of me you’d understand the shock I was expecting her to be at least 8lb! I had to sign some forms for surgery and then off I went leaving Lewis with our newborn baby.
I was in surgery for about an hour and a half, being paralysed from the waist down is something I don’t want to have to experience again, not being in control of my body was scary.
Now this is where it got tough, I was wheeled out of surgery and handed my baby girl, Lewis was walking behind us, the midwife said “he’s got to go home now” and wheeled me on to the recovery ward. I cried, a lot. I was lying on the bed paralysed, with a newborn baby in the hospital on my own. All I wanted was to be with Lewis, for him to be with his daughter and to help me when I needed it but thanks to this stupid virus that just wasn’t possible. It was really lonely in that hospital on my own, I was a first time mom and I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I spent the whole day with her lay on my chest, my eyes never left her. I was like a zombie at this point and hadn’t slept for three days but all I wanted to do was stare at her. (I still do this now) Luckily I was discharged the same day and reunited with Lewis, we headed home to start our new life together as a family of three and what an incredible journey it has been.
No comments :
Post a Comment