After birth

Ok so if you’re Squeamish then I recommend not reading any further as I am about to discuss the ins and outs of after birth, you know all the nice things that no one warns you about 😒

So if you’ve read my labour blog then you’ll know about my surgery. I had a spinal block so for a good 4-5 hours I was completely paralysed from the waist down. The one good thing about this is I felt no pain, I was completely numb to any pain, even when they took out my catheter I didn’t feel a thing (and I heard that can be painful). So when the feeling in my legs finally came back the midwife didn’t mess around and told me it was time to shower. Shower? Are you kidding me, I’d just given birth and under gone surgery and you want me to walk to the bathroom and shower! I thought the woman had gone mad but no there she was rummaging through my suitcase for my fresh clothes and toiletries. I pulled back the covers and too my horror all I saw was blood, sorry if that’s gross but it’s the ugly truth there was a lot of blood. I had leaked through the pad and the bedding and still the midwife was forcing me up. She walked me to the bathroom as I was trying to hold on to any remaining dignity I had left (I don’t think I had any left at this point). So there I was standing naked in the bathroom on my own nervously about to shower, I looked down to the floor and my god the blood was just pouring (sorry tmi I know) but it’s true, no one warned me this would happen so I was just having a panic that this was not normal and just accepted the fact I may just die of lack of blood. (A massive over reaction of course). I slowly and steadily got in the shower, avoided my lady parts as I’d just had surgery and was not ready to face that yet and then got back out. Took me a while to dry myself and get dressed, it’s not easy doing simple tasks as you are just so exhausted. I popped on a nursing bra (least attractive thing but most comfortable!) and my disposable knickers (life savers) and lets not forget the most important after birth item, the extra large pad and I mean it’s extremely big but trust me you’ll need it and about 100 more. I was in the hospital for less than a day and I changed that pad more than a handful of times! 

Then there’s the canular, in my case I had one in each hand, I had these in all day until finally they were taken out, which was very uncomfortable. I was covered in marks where I had been jabbed from helping with the placenta, pain relief during birth, Iv drip and the anti-D injection. By the end of the day I felt like a pin cushion!

 One thing that really shocked me after giving birth was a fair few hours later whilst on the ward I was having pains in my stomach and I looked down to see my belly moving, yes moving like there was something inside, me being me sat there wondering if there was another baby in there, there definitely wasn’t but the way my belly was moving there could have been! After wards I realised it was just my organs slowly moving back down in to place, makes more sense than another baby 🙈.

 Day 1 after birth: ok so this wasn’t that bad surprisingly. I was on antibiotics for my stitches, taking pain relief and could barely walk but it was manageable. Breastfeeding was a disaster, I feel like because we were in lockdown support for breastfeeding that you would usually receive just wasn’t there and I was heartbroken to not breast feed but without that help I just couldn’t do it, Hope wouldn’t latch and she just kept screaming at me when I tried so I ended up giving her some formula and I haven’t looked back since. 

Day 2: this was bad, I was still bleeding like I was dying, the pain had increased, it was excruciating to sit down, it hurt to try and do pretty much anything, my boobs ached and were leaking like crazy and I don’t think I’d ever been so tired in my whole entire life. Oh and let’s not forget I still had a baby bump that I didn’t realise stayed with me a while. 

Day 3: was probably the worst. My hormones were like crazy. I cried over nothing but it needed to come out, my emotions were just everywhere and the pain down below was awful. Siting was definitely hard work, I had to sit on about three cushions and slowly steady myself down in to a some what comfy position. By this point I needed my mom, don’t get me wrong Lewis was incredible, he took to fatherhood so naturally (I knew he would) but it wasn’t easy on him trying to look after me and a newborn. I wanted my mom to give me a hug, run me a bath and wash my hair, help me to walk and get dressed and just sit with me while I sobbed. This was the most difficult of being in lockdown, not having the support from the people closest.

Day 4: I’d like to say it got better but it really didn’t. The pain was still bad, my back felt broken, I had headaches, sore boobs which were still just pouring out milk, I struggling just doing everyday tasks. My feet were the size of my head, those and my ankles blew up massively, which just caused me even more pain 😩. 

For me personally I found the after birth worse than the actual birth because it lasts a lot longer and you just don’t know what to expect. There are so many programmes that show women giving birth and what that’s like but where is the programmes that gives you a heads up for what comes after? I didn’t feel like me anymore and this lasted a while, I think I finally started getting back to somewhat normal at around week 5/6, by this point the bleeding had stopped, my lady parts were healed (mostly) and the water weight seemed to have gone. I got my first period at week 8 and it only lasted 4 days (bonus). 

After birth it hard but it’s all part of the process and it just remember it doesn’t last forever!